As I go through life, the depths of my ignorance never cease to amaze me.

For example—-as kids often do—mine will fight with each other on road trips…. As I try my best to keep them separated—I’ll often hear “Dad, MacKenzie is looking at me!!!”

I’ll reply with something like, “Looks don’t hurt—now keep quiet and let me drive!”

Well—turns out I was wrong. Really, really wrong.

Apparently—looks not only can hurt—they can destroy objects!

This story linked here says cosmologists believe “by observing dark energy the universe has been nudged closer to its death .”

It all gets rather complicated—and involves quantum mechanics and physics that require calculations too complicated for me to do on my fingers.

The bottom line is that we apparently are sucking the life out of the universe by using telescopes and such to observe things like dark matter.

As best as I can understand it—it’s kind of like water spilled on a counter top and a paper towel.

The spill stays there until we lay the paper towel on it. The water still exists—but it’s now sucked into the paper towel instead of being on the counter top.

The same thing is apparently happening in space when we look at objects. We suck up their photons—slowly draining them of their existance in their present state…

Now— the good news is that we’re not going to kill the universe tomorrow.

We’ve got a couple of YAZILLION epochs before it occurs.

(In case you’ve run out of fingers, that’s more than a milliondy-trilliondy-gazilliondy years)

So, we’ve got enough time left to accomplish what needs to be done in our lives.

In my case—that means finding a way to get the kids to ride quietly in the back of the van so I won’t miss that turn we were supposed to make 2 miles back….

—Steve

Pet peeves and other things that are the burr under the saddle of life…..

CONSERVATION CONUNDRUM

It seemed like it took years to get the kids to to flush the toilet each time they used the bathroom.. . I can’t count the numbers of times I found the toilets unflushed in the house… After what seemed like a dozen years of ranting—I finally got them to flush each time they used the facilities.

SUCCESS !

NOW comes the drought—and I’m still screaming at them.. This time—it’s to get them NOT to flush the toilet UNLESS it’s necessary. I can’t tell if it’s just habit that’s making them flush every time now—or that they’re at the age where they just want to be contrary.

In any case—my new age parenting friends say I’m probably setting up a severe sets of conflicts in their minds—and years from now—they’ll be sitting in a psychiatrists’ office trying work out the angst resulting from the FLUSH–NO-DON’T FLUSH messages they received as kids…

OH NO, YOU DIDN’T…

Here’s another one of those things that frosts my cupcakes…People citing the 1st Annual this or the 1st Annual that! It’s especially prevalent among my fellow broadcasters—many of whom OUGHT to know better !It can’t be annual UNTIL it’s happened more than once… the first time is the INAUGURAL !!

This is my 37th annual complaint about that particular mis-use of our language!

HEY, USE A KLEENEX, I DON’T WANNA CATCH YOUR FATNESS…

I always thought my middle-aged spread was my fault because I was eating too much and not exercising enough. Now—come to find out—I have no responsibility in this whatsoever. I have a DISEASE ! This study linked here cites research that indicates you can catch being fat!

Yep—the same virus that gives us pink-eye, diarrhea, and the common cold can make us uncommonly chubby they say..

So, if being fat is a disease—I’m ready to start treating it like one. I’ll begin by taking a sick day… “Hello Boss—I’m not coming in today. I’m felling a little fat.”

Of course—this fat virus creates a few new problems too.

How fat do you have to be to be considered sick? A pound overweight? Ten? And what if they come up with a vaccine? Do they not give you sick days if you come down with “fat-itis” after you’ve refused to get the anti-fat shot?

As the scientists say—this requires more research.

Let me get back to you after I’ve had a cup of coffee and a couple of slices of cake.

—Steve

Link here to the story Steve covered today on NBC-17

We recently returned from a little vacation trip—up and down Interstate 95…And I discovered that the older my kids get—the more I need to learn about road trips with kids…

REVELATION #1

I learned the arrival time indicated on the GPS device is never correct when you travel with kids…

Add at least two additional hours for potty breaks, eating, and stops to settle the “DAD-MACKENZIE’S-LOOKING-AT-ME; NO-I’M-NOT-MORGAN’S-BREATHING-ON-ME” disputes that arise from the back seat of the van.

REVELATION #2

I learned that the utility outlet in the vehicle that provides electrical power for all those neat devices to keep the kids occupied is JUST THE RIGHT SIZE to fit a penny….

…A copper, ELECTRICALLY CONDUCTIVE penny….

REVELATION #3

I learned it’s almost impossible to extract that penny from a short circuiting outlet while neither child will admit HOW the penny got there..

Hello Scoobie-Doo, we’ve got another mystery here….

REVILATION #4

I learned it’s a good idea for the kids to take every Gameboy, Nintendo, Ipod and Laptop computer they own to keep them occupied on the road trip…

And I learned it’s a BETTER idea to check and make sure extra batteries and power cords were actually brought along with those devices so they aren’t just dead, non-functioning paperweights during the 578th hour of the trip…

REVILATION #5

I learned the only piece of land in the entire southeast that doesn’t have a “South Of The Border” billboard is my front yard….

…I think I’ll have one installed there—’cause I miss the kids asking me me 98 times a day  “can we stop there daddy???”

—Steve

Link here for the story Steve covered today on NBC-17