As I go through life, the depths of my ignorance never cease to amaze me.

For example—-as kids often do—mine will fight with each other on road trips…. As I try my best to keep them separated—I’ll often hear “Dad, MacKenzie is looking at me!!!”

I’ll reply with something like, “Looks don’t hurt—now keep quiet and let me drive!”

Well—turns out I was wrong. Really, really wrong.

Apparently—looks not only can hurt—they can destroy objects!

This story linked here says cosmologists believe “by observing dark energy the universe has been nudged closer to its death .”

It all gets rather complicated—and involves quantum mechanics and physics that require calculations too complicated for me to do on my fingers.

The bottom line is that we apparently are sucking the life out of the universe by using telescopes and such to observe things like dark matter.

As best as I can understand it—it’s kind of like water spilled on a counter top and a paper towel.

The spill stays there until we lay the paper towel on it. The water still exists—but it’s now sucked into the paper towel instead of being on the counter top.

The same thing is apparently happening in space when we look at objects. We suck up their photons—slowly draining them of their existance in their present state…

Now— the good news is that we’re not going to kill the universe tomorrow.

We’ve got a couple of YAZILLION epochs before it occurs.

(In case you’ve run out of fingers, that’s more than a milliondy-trilliondy-gazilliondy years)

So, we’ve got enough time left to accomplish what needs to be done in our lives.

In my case—that means finding a way to get the kids to ride quietly in the back of the van so I won’t miss that turn we were supposed to make 2 miles back….

—Steve

We recently returned from a little vacation trip—up and down Interstate 95…And I discovered that the older my kids get—the more I need to learn about road trips with kids…

REVELATION #1

I learned the arrival time indicated on the GPS device is never correct when you travel with kids…

Add at least two additional hours for potty breaks, eating, and stops to settle the “DAD-MACKENZIE’S-LOOKING-AT-ME; NO-I’M-NOT-MORGAN’S-BREATHING-ON-ME” disputes that arise from the back seat of the van.

REVELATION #2

I learned that the utility outlet in the vehicle that provides electrical power for all those neat devices to keep the kids occupied is JUST THE RIGHT SIZE to fit a penny….

…A copper, ELECTRICALLY CONDUCTIVE penny….

REVELATION #3

I learned it’s almost impossible to extract that penny from a short circuiting outlet while neither child will admit HOW the penny got there..

Hello Scoobie-Doo, we’ve got another mystery here….

REVILATION #4

I learned it’s a good idea for the kids to take every Gameboy, Nintendo, Ipod and Laptop computer they own to keep them occupied on the road trip…

And I learned it’s a BETTER idea to check and make sure extra batteries and power cords were actually brought along with those devices so they aren’t just dead, non-functioning paperweights during the 578th hour of the trip…

REVILATION #5

I learned the only piece of land in the entire southeast that doesn’t have a “South Of The Border” billboard is my front yard….

…I think I’ll have one installed there—’cause I miss the kids asking me me 98 times a day  “can we stop there daddy???”

—Steve

Link here for the story Steve covered today on NBC-17

I love my kids. I really do. And most of the time I’m proud of them. But there are times, when I know something is amiss.

It usually begins with the phrase, “Hey Dad…..”

It’s called Spackle. And, they’re asking about it because they’re trying to cover up a hole the size of Pittsburgh. When you try and find out how this cavern was created, you usually get the response “I dunno,” or “It was there when I came home.”

At that point I figure it’s time to call Scoobie Doo–because the cartoon dog’s got about as much luck as I have in solving THAT mystery!

Usually uttered about 5:30 in the morning, when there’s about 30 seconds to go before the school bus comes, and while I’m still in deep REM sleep. The document that needs my attention is usually a report card, or important note from the teacher.

When you ask why your child waited till this late moment to hand you the paper, you get the famous, “I dunno.”

Yeah right.

Should we call Scoobie Doo again?

That “thing” is guaranteed to be a crash. A hard crash that leaves the computer completely and totally devoid of anything in its memory or hard drive.

It usually happens just before me or my wife need the computer for some very important, work related task.

When the child is asked what they were doing before the computer decided to become a very large and expensive paperweight, the response is something like, “Nothing… Just playing Webkins, listening to my I-Tunes, looking at Wikipedia, Instant messaging my friends, and downloading some stuff.”

I guess ought to be grateful she can multi-task.

…..

As it turns out, being a father means you’ll always get the “HEY DAD …”

But of all of the “Hey Dad’s” I’ll hear as my daughters grow up– perhaps the one that will strike the most fear into my heart will be:

Not even Scoobie Doo will be able to explain that one to me!

— Steve