The volcano that’s my mouth is once again spewing out a stream of hot invective aimed at people and things that steam me off…

…And that’s why we’ve got another version of :

FLIGHTS OF FANCY #1…

The airlines are squeezing travelers every which way now—-imposing fees on everything. They’re doing everything from charging us for EACH bag, to making us pay extra to sit in the “preferred” seats by the window or on the aisle.

Let’s cut to the chase guys.

You know what you REALLY want to do. You want to charge us for BREATHING your air.

I’m predicting before the year is out, airlines will charge us a breathing fee.

You can buy the “discount” plan which sets a limit on the amount of breaths you can inhale on a flight — or you can pay a little extra and get the “all inclusive” breathing plan which allows for an unlimited amount of breaths on the flight.

And while we’re at it guys–why not install a few extra seats on the wings—creating a class just below “Coach.”

And for an extra fee, you can offer the wing-seaters a windbreaker to mitigate the breeze they’ll most certainly feel sitting outside like that…

FLIGHTS OF FANCY #2…

We’ve spent 420-million bucks to send NASA’s Phoenix spacecraft to Mars to do some prospecting.

It’s a great scientific achievement—and I ‘m looking forward to seeing what it can discover.

But the bright lights that sent the craft to Mars apparently have a few bulbs that aren’t working…

That’s because they included a DVD on the outside of the spacecraft for “some future life-form” to find.

As you can read here, the DVD contains everything from greetings from science-fiction writers to Mars themed videos and audio records.

They hope that when:

a future Martian picks up this tame-looking disc, he or she will hold in their hands a message from our world, addressed to theirs.

And HOW do they expect he “future Martian” to be able to play that disc?

Will they have IPODS?

Or Maybe they’ll just run their fingers along the disc and pick up the 0’s and 1’s..

Oh—I know! They’ll just hold the disc to their head and use ESP to download the contents!

C’mon guys! If you had enough brains to send a robot explorer to Mars— could you not have figured out the DVD thing?

JUMP ON THE FRESHNESS BANDWAGON…

I like fresh salad.

I like it a lot.

But I’m not sure I like it THIS FRESH!

Perhaps I shouldn’t worry though… In Spanish, “Lavado” means “washed” …

So I’m sure the froggie inside is OK for eating—’cause he’s been washed !

—Steve

Link to the video and story Steve covered today on NBC-17

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You may have noticed that our old “visitors map” disappeared from this page, replaced with the link: CUTE MYSPACE LAYOUTS. That’s because the website which provided the map discontinued its service, leaving us only with their hyperlink.

We are now using a different Map Generator—but, it will take some time to show WHERE YOU COME FROM.

Be patient!

With readers now in 100 countries, you will soon see YOUR Country represented on line again!

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