Gimmie My Money….
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
Hillary Clinton’s proposal to give every new baby 5-thousand dollars got me to thinking… It’s a nice idea—but it doesn’t go far enough…
First off—don’t waste the cash on babies……I mean, after all—what do babies know about spending money??
In the spirit of Jonathan Swift—I make this modest proposal.. Give me the money—-because I know just what to spend it on…
Let’s start with gasoline… With the price at the pump increasing as quickly as a presidential candidate’s promises—that would be a good way to use the 5-thousand smackers….. Besides—how many babies do you know that can drive?
…And speaking of getting free money—I think the government ought to pay me for all the food I eat. If I don’t eat—then, I’m gonna get sick, and If I get sick I can’t go to work and earn the money the government needs for all those paycheck deductions….
So—to keep me a productive, taxpaying citizen, I need to keep eating… I think 40-thousand a year ought to do it …
And folks—we’re in a drought here—and I want to do my part to conserve our water supplies…
So I’m willing to drink bottled water imported from elsewhere in the country… But, hey—that stuff’s not cheap… I’m figuring about 65-grand will tide me over…
…And I’m just getting started…
To maintain good mental health, I need rest and relaxation.. You know—movies, theatre tickets and things…
I’m gonna let the government off cheap though—I’m only asking for 15-large…Hey– I’m not greedy ya know!
You say you don’t like my idea?
Well—-I have a Plan “B”…
We just give those politicians our wallets—tell ‘em to take what they need—and then return it to us when they’re done…
—Steve
